Developing Healthy and Holy Priorities

Aug 15, 2025 | by Dr. Ian Mudge

In my last article, “Holiness and Mental Health," I spoke about holiness as unity with God. Becoming unified with God requires a healthy relationship with Him, and that requires spending time with Him. Part of that relationship development process is making our spiritual life a priority and developing holy habits.

As a psychologist, I’m always interested in why people do or don’t do things. As Christians, most of us are aware that we need to spend time with God, so why don’t we? When I ask my clients, many of them tell me that they are too busy, they feel overwhelmed by life and ministry, or they struggle with motivation. Many books have been written about busyness being the antithesis of holiness. Unfortunately, I have found that telling people to be less busy is not a very effective strategy.

Many of us are part of The Salvation Army because we feel called by God to serve. At every level of the organization, we are committed to serving a suffering humanity in the name of Christ. That calling is naturally very demanding. We are called to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others. Those of us who thrive in that environment recognize that sacrifice is part of our spiritual development. In the Army, we tend to celebrate suffering for the mission as a badge of spiritual honor. This is not wrong, but it does mean that we are more susceptible to the trap of busyness.

There is a saying in the recovery community: “You can’t give away what you don’t have.” If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you recommend to others that they should care for themselves? If I am not spiritually connected to God, how can I effectively guide others to spiritual fulfillment? Self-care is an important part of holiness. When we look at the example of Jesus, he ministers to the multitudes, then afterwards removes himself so that he can spend time in prayer. Ministry can and should be a priority for us in the Army. At times, it can even take precedence over self-care. But if we are to be successful in ministry, we must make caring for ourselves a priority so that we have adequate mental, emotional, and physical resources to care for others.

The first key to developing holy habits is to have our priorities straight. What we have prioritized is what will receive our time. If you find that you are spending a lot of time doing something, that tells you where your priorities lie. Here is how I have aligned my priorities:

1. God
2. Self
3. Family
4. Friends
5. Work
6. Others

Looking at this list, you may immediately disagree with how I have prioritized different facets of my life. That is allowed. Each of us should have our own unique set of priorities. That said, in my experience as a counselor, I have found that most people benefit from aligning their priorities like I have set mine.

My first priority is always God. This is an important part of holiness, and keeping God as my main priority helps me align all my other priorities. This means that my relationship with God gets its own special time set aside in my day, but having God as my number one priority goes much deeper than that. To be holy, everything that I do in my day should be aligned with God. Everything I do should be a form of spiritual development. If I am not worshiping God with my every action, then He is not my main priority. When I am fully aligned with God, all my other priorities become part of my spiritual walk and draw me closer to Him.

I think most people will take umbrage with my placing myself second on my list of priorities. Many people I speak with place themselves at the bottom of their priority list. This is often the main reason they are suffering and need the help of a counselor. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not have the resources to care for other people. If I stop eating to provide food for my family, friends, and everyone else, I will starve to death and not be able to help anyone. This is a rather obvious example, but I see people do this mentally and emotionally every day. I have seen officers spend all their time giving to others to the detriment of their own lives, and they eventually leave the work. I see spouses neglect their own needs in their marriage for so long that their marriage collapses.

If you do not meet your own needs, no one else will meet them for you. If you do not prioritize yourself, you will not have the resources you need to be an effective spouse, parent, officer, or soldier. I am endorsing a healthy selfishness. Of course, this can go too far into unhealthy selfishness where we constantly take from others. I am proposing the opposite of that. Do not take from others. Give to yourself so that you then have the ability to give to others. If God is truly your first priority, balancing giving to yourself and giving of yourself should come naturally.

Balancing our priorities requires us to say no. Saying no takes practice and is often uncomfortable. People rarely like it when we tell them no, but if we don’t say no, then we are giving other people control over our priorities. You do not have set priorities if you are not willing to say no.

I speak with many officers who struggle to balance their priorities. Officership is incredibly demanding, and every day is filled with people asking the officer to take on new responsibilities. When you say yes to every new task, your priorities quickly take a back seat. It is hard to focus on your children when you are overcommitted at work. It is difficult to make time for God when you are already committed to working 12 hours a day. The way to regain control and reassert your priorities is by saying no.

As someone with experience balancing my priorities, I have become good at saying no to tasks that I dislike. They cannot always be avoided, but if I don’t want to do something, I generally make it clear. What I find harder is saying no to things that I like to do. Things we enjoy can also destabilize our priorities. As a counselor, I sometimes have to say no to taking on new clients, even though I love helping people. When I am overwhelmed with clients, it hurts everyone on my caseload, myself, and my family. It is better for me to limit my clients and give a few my 100 percent rather than giving everyone 10 percent or potentially burning myself out.

Here are a few questions you can ponder as you assess your priorities:

1. What are my priorities?
2. Where do I spend most of my time?
3. How can I better align my time with my priorities?

I would encourage you to write down your answers and hold yourself accountable in developing your own healthy and holy priorities.